He Will Never Let Me Go

Addy’s starting to sit up.  It’s so cute to watch her (it’s cute watching her do anything!).  As Addy was learning this milestone, my hands would be all around her waiting to break her fall.  Eventually, I realized that sometimes I just had to let her fall in order for her to learn how to balance herself.  Although she may not know it yet, balance is something that will be an absolute necessity, as she gets older.  This made me think of God and how in some instances He allows us to stumble in order for us to learn something valuable.  His hands are all around us. Sometimes He catches our fall, but other times, He just lets us tumble. 

I’m going through a season of internal challenges right now.  Don’t get me wrong; I’m extremely happy with the events that God has allowed me to experience this year.  I’m beyond ecstatic, but they’re some things I still can’t shake, some things I’m anxious about.  While I have so much in my life, I also have a lot to lose and this feeling overwhelms me.  I’ve got everything that I’ve ever dreamed of: a loving husband, a beautiful daughter and so much more.   Unfortunately, lately I can’t seem to get over the fear of facing another storm. My worst storm would be losing my loved ones.  My heart is tremendously heavy with the thought of loss.  I know if I’m dwelling on these awful feelings, I could miss out on some really amazing moments.  I try to push the unwanted thoughts down deep, but they resurface uncontrollably.

I wish I could get “stuck” in the joyful moments, the moments where I’m so happy that my heart feels like it will explode out of my chest.  Life doesn’t work that way though.  Scripture tells us that there is going to be heartache, pain and struggles.  Fortunately, scripture also tells us that God has promised to hold us when the storms of life fall upon us.

I was reminded this past Sunday that God hurts for us. In one of my favorite moments in the New Testament, God allowed himself to feel heartache, loss and pain through Jesus.  “When Jesus saw her weeping, and the Jews who had come along with her also weeping, he was deeply moved in spirit and troubled…. Jesus wept.” John 11:33-35.  Jesus wept!  Let me say it again… for myself, He wept!   He wept with me when I lost my father at a very young age.  He wept with me when I lost Luke.  He wept with me when I lost Evie and He will weep with me through future pain and suffering.  He’s also promised me that His grace is all that I will ever need:  But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”  2 Corinthians 12:9.  This is a huge weakness, a thorn in my flesh: these thoughts of loss.  I know that I should not put my hope in this life, but I do.

I continue to hear the words of a song I heard at church.  I desperately tried to cling to every word, promises from God that were incredibly comforting.  Words that I believe in but fail to put my focus on daily.  I felt a peace in my heart like no other on Sunday.   In that moment, I put complete hope in God and the promises that were being sung.  I was moved to the point of tears.  I wish I could stay in these moments forever.  But, this world is going to be uncomfortable and I will probably always feel a sense of uneasiness until I’m with Him.  Maybe, He makes it uncomfortable so we can cling to Jesus and His teachings.  Maybe, He makes it uncomfortable so we can come to know Him, as best we know how, here on earth.  Maybe, He makes it uncomfortable so we can lift our eyes and hands to Him releasing our life and everything in it to Him.  Maybe, maybe not but I know this for myself; when I’m at my weakest I’m much more willing to accept the peace that comes with His amazing Grace.  I will continue to cling to the cross.  Not on these thoughts of loss, but on what Christ promised me two thousand years ago.  It’s His amazing love and grace that will get me through these painful thoughts.  I will continue to put hope and find peace in these words.  He will never let me go:  

Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death

Your perfect love is casting out fear

And even when I'm caught in the middle of the storms of this life

I won't turn back, I know you are near

I will fear no evil

For my God is with me

And if my God is with me

Whom then shall I fear

Whom then shall I fear

OH no You never let go through the calm and through the storm

Oh no, You never let go in every high and every low

Oh no, You never let go, Lord, You never let go of me

And I can see the light that is comin' for the heart that holds on

A glorious light beyond all compare

And there will be an end to the struggles

But until that day comes, we'll live to know You here on the Earth

And I will fear no evil

For my God is with me

And if my God is with me

Whom then shall I fear

Whom then shall I fear

You keep on loving and you never let go

And I can see a light that is coming for the heart that holds on

and there will be and end to the struggles

but until that day comes

Still I will praise you
Still I will praise you

Never Let Go

By: Matt Redman